The Van Song
(John Thompson / to the tune of "My Way)
(To be sung with an absurd amount of emotion)
And now, the end is near
Our tour is reaching it's conclusion
My friends, I'll say it clear,
We do not want undue confusion.
We've driven in our van,
We've travelled England's every by-way
And you know, we'll miss our time
Out on the highway
Our trusty campervan,
It's sad to say, we must now sell her
Let's talk of this a while,
Though I haven't the heart to go and tell her.
She's been our tour's best friend
And we'll miss her, in a sob and sigh way.
As she goes with someone else,
Out on the highway.
So what of this van,
What has she got?
Well now, my friends,
She's got the lot!
Curtains velour and carpet rugs
She locks secure,
There's new spark plugs,
Despite her year's, she has no fears
Out on the highway.
So start this beauty up,
Just turn the key, and feel the power.
All this at your command,
0-10 in half an hour
A Renault 1.4,
At heavy loads, she sure is nifty
And if your need is speed,
She'll cruise at 50.
And now, my faithful friends,
Some other things I'd like to mention
The crowning glory here,
A concertina roof extension.
Inside you can stand tall,
Make cups of tea out on your driveway,
But drop that cloth-top down,
Out on the highway.
But wait now, there's more
You haven't seen:
The stereo, the huge windscreen.
Four forward gears, who needs a fifth,
Never mind the quality, come feel the width
Ignore her flaws, she could be yours
Out on the highway.
Her paint jobs are all white,
Although they're whites of different palour.
The kitchen's all set up,
The fridge and stove both run on Calor.
She'll carry persons four,
And all their cases if you pack them,
But if they all want to sleep,
You'll have to stack them.
It's not with joy we sell,
But resolution tinged with sorrow
No pressure for you to buy,
But you won't find one like this tomorrow!
The deal must soon be done,
And then we'll say, in a goodbye way,
"We'll miss our faithful friend,
Out on the highway".
For soon we must go,
And catch a plane
And never see our van again.
She will fulfill your every need,
Her tax is paid, she's MOT'd.
It's with a friend that we have roamed.
It's not a motor car, it's a motor HOME.
As here we stand, no finer van,
Out on the highway!!!!!
|
